Got the Bug????

Well, I am feeling like crap and have been for about 4 days or so. I finally got the stomach bug that Alek and Katherine had. I have been quarantined to the guest bedroom. I have not been able to really eat anything during this time. In addition my face is totally breaking out from the chemo and steroids. It is not a pretty picture. In addition I have not been able to help or watch Alek as I don't want to get him sick. It is totally depressing. This is when I get scared as to what would happen if I get really sick again or I have to take a chemo treatment that makes me feel this way. I just want to get better and sometimes it seems that this is never going to happen. I do not want to die!!! I want to be able to live like all of you reading this blog. Feel blessed everyday that you are healthy, because without your health you have nothing. Many people understand how lucky they are and many people have no clue how lucky they are. This is one gift I have been given by being sick, I see the world much differently then most. Things that other people worry about are worries I wish I had. I do not take one thing for granite. Everything in life is precious to me. This year has been tough and the support I have received from friends, family, neighbors and strangers has been overwhelming. I really just want to be able to do for others and others have done for me. Isn't that what life is about? Treat others as you want to be treated. Helping others as you would want to be helped. Feeling for others the way you would want to be felt for. I could go on. If we all lived by these principles everyday, I think it would be a different world.

A part of my daily routine is worrying about Katherine and Alek's future without me being able to contribute. It is a tough on the male ego to not be able to be the rock/the provider in the family. Let's just hope that someday, hopefully sooner then later, that I will be back. Right now I just don't feel like myself and I am not sure what I need to get me out of the funk I am in.

The support from the People article continues with many great letters of support. I am touched everyday when Cathy and Alison stop by with the letters and the donations.