This is a good article to read if you don't like Palin or McCain.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/15073
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Followers and stuff...
Thanks to all the people who have signed up as followers, 11 so far. This is very cool. Thank you!!! I appreciate it. It means a lot to me to see who is reading the blog on a consistent basis.
I am struggling with fatigue, especially in the evening time. It is very tough because this is when Alek wants to play and sometimes I just can not keep up. I just wish I had more stamina. I have to think to myself it could be much worse, but also better.
I am also mentally in a kinda state of confusion. I am bored yet there are so many things I want to do and should be doing. I need to write thank you letter to all the sponsors of the KPB Classic. I want to start cooking, backing up my photo from my PC, start working out and several things I can not even think of now. It is strange to be so bored and yet have little ambition to do anything. I just can not seem to motivate right now. I try and then I get side tracked by the TV, the Web, laundry, nap time. etc.
My biggest wish and dream would be able to help people going through what I am going through. I feel that the experience I have had is untapped. I feel I could help many people fighting and surviving cancer. I also feel that I could learn a great deal from others. I really think someday this dream will come true. I just need to get this round of my battle under control. I just hope that I can hold on long enough for cancer treatments to continue to advance as they have. I just hope I can get access to the drugs. That is what is also worrisome. I guess only time will tell. I just gots to keep on fighting.
Well my laptop battery is about to die. Got to run.
Later
Kris
I am struggling with fatigue, especially in the evening time. It is very tough because this is when Alek wants to play and sometimes I just can not keep up. I just wish I had more stamina. I have to think to myself it could be much worse, but also better.
I am also mentally in a kinda state of confusion. I am bored yet there are so many things I want to do and should be doing. I need to write thank you letter to all the sponsors of the KPB Classic. I want to start cooking, backing up my photo from my PC, start working out and several things I can not even think of now. It is strange to be so bored and yet have little ambition to do anything. I just can not seem to motivate right now. I try and then I get side tracked by the TV, the Web, laundry, nap time. etc.
My biggest wish and dream would be able to help people going through what I am going through. I feel that the experience I have had is untapped. I feel I could help many people fighting and surviving cancer. I also feel that I could learn a great deal from others. I really think someday this dream will come true. I just need to get this round of my battle under control. I just hope that I can hold on long enough for cancer treatments to continue to advance as they have. I just hope I can get access to the drugs. That is what is also worrisome. I guess only time will tell. I just gots to keep on fighting.
Well my laptop battery is about to die. Got to run.
Later
Kris
Thursday, October 23, 2008
People Magazine
I will be making an appearance in PEOPLE MAGAZINE tomorrow. My neighbor from Apple Tree Farm who put on the Pony/Horse ride fundraiser contacted them to inform them about the event and my struggles. They were here last week and did a photo shoot of my family and Alison (our awesome neighbor). I can not thank her enough for all her efforts. She has really gone above and beyond trying to help us. She is an angel. Her staff and riders have also been tremendous and supportive. We could not ask for better neighbors and friends. That is why it is so depressing to think that if we sell our house where we will end up. Just not fun to think about.
They are doing article on heroes that are helping out people in need in the down economy/bad times. It is a short article, but it is still very cool to be able to say that I am in people magazine. One part of the article is about the insurance company not paying for my meds. The author of the story had to call my insurance company to verify this was true. Ever since the insurance company has called me at least five times. They have offered me ideas and sources that might be able to help out. It is really funny how they react with a little pressure and exposure. It should not be this way, but the squeaky wheel gets the oil. It is so true.
Otherwise, I am doing OK. Still very tired and napping a good amount during the day. Today was a good napping day, about 3 hours. I needed it though. My hands and feet have been soar but manageable. I have a doctor's appointment next Tuesday (Nov. 11th). This will be a big day to see if the drugs are working. The waiting game is not fun. The word that I have used in the past and will use again is grinding. The thoughts of fear and anxiety just grind in your mind.
Kath has been crazy busy with work. She works several hours a night to keep up. This makes it tough on her to do most of the house work and take care of her work. This is the most frustrating thing for me, not being able to help around the house as much as I would like. She is so amazing to keep going day after day, dealing what we are dealing with. She is so strong. I don't know what I would do without my soul mate. I love you Katherine.
Alek is starting to really get his personality. He is a crazy little guy. He wants to start walking. He is standing and holding on to anything he can reach. He is walking along the couches, walls and coffee tables. It you hold is hands he will walk around the house. (As I am writing this he and Kath come walking around the corner). This is scary but also so exciting. He is constantly smiling and laughing. He is the ultimate ball of joy. He is AWESOME.
Well not much else to report here. Please feel free to join the follower area of my blog. It would be great to see who is following on a consistent basis.
Kris
They are doing article on heroes that are helping out people in need in the down economy/bad times. It is a short article, but it is still very cool to be able to say that I am in people magazine. One part of the article is about the insurance company not paying for my meds. The author of the story had to call my insurance company to verify this was true. Ever since the insurance company has called me at least five times. They have offered me ideas and sources that might be able to help out. It is really funny how they react with a little pressure and exposure. It should not be this way, but the squeaky wheel gets the oil. It is so true.
Otherwise, I am doing OK. Still very tired and napping a good amount during the day. Today was a good napping day, about 3 hours. I needed it though. My hands and feet have been soar but manageable. I have a doctor's appointment next Tuesday (Nov. 11th). This will be a big day to see if the drugs are working. The waiting game is not fun. The word that I have used in the past and will use again is grinding. The thoughts of fear and anxiety just grind in your mind.
Kath has been crazy busy with work. She works several hours a night to keep up. This makes it tough on her to do most of the house work and take care of her work. This is the most frustrating thing for me, not being able to help around the house as much as I would like. She is so amazing to keep going day after day, dealing what we are dealing with. She is so strong. I don't know what I would do without my soul mate. I love you Katherine.
Alek is starting to really get his personality. He is a crazy little guy. He wants to start walking. He is standing and holding on to anything he can reach. He is walking along the couches, walls and coffee tables. It you hold is hands he will walk around the house. (As I am writing this he and Kath come walking around the corner). This is scary but also so exciting. He is constantly smiling and laughing. He is the ultimate ball of joy. He is AWESOME.
Well not much else to report here. Please feel free to join the follower area of my blog. It would be great to see who is following on a consistent basis.
Kris
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I am my own Doctor!
Although sometimes I am astonished by doctors and cancer, I am never surprised at what goes on in the fight with cancer.
First, I spent all night throwing up. I had an insane stomach ache that would not go away, even after the throwing up. I think I got about an hour of sleep and the same went for Kath. The only one that slept was Alek. I am not sure if it is what I ate, the combination of what I ate or just the chemo. I think it was what I ate and the chemo. It is 5:45pm and I still feel like crap.
Second, I spoke with my doctor and was surprised that he wanted to take me off the Nexavar. He felt the drop in the Prolactin level was not enough. After numerous discussions and talking, we realized that I was not taking the right dosing. So I really pushed back and asked my doc why we would not give this some more time. The counts are going in the right direction. Yes the side-effects are bad, but most chemo has side-effects. I asked why stop taking something that is working and go to a clinical trial that is an absolute crap-shoot. After further discussion, we (more like I) decided to give this another couple weeks to see if the chemo will push the counts down some more. It is crazy to think that I am making many of the discussion for my care. It is kinda sad. I guess doctors have more then one patient, I just wish that there were answers and options that were viable. But I guess, I will do what I have done for 13 years now. Keep plugging away at this disease they call CANCER.
CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
First, I spent all night throwing up. I had an insane stomach ache that would not go away, even after the throwing up. I think I got about an hour of sleep and the same went for Kath. The only one that slept was Alek. I am not sure if it is what I ate, the combination of what I ate or just the chemo. I think it was what I ate and the chemo. It is 5:45pm and I still feel like crap.
Second, I spoke with my doctor and was surprised that he wanted to take me off the Nexavar. He felt the drop in the Prolactin level was not enough. After numerous discussions and talking, we realized that I was not taking the right dosing. So I really pushed back and asked my doc why we would not give this some more time. The counts are going in the right direction. Yes the side-effects are bad, but most chemo has side-effects. I asked why stop taking something that is working and go to a clinical trial that is an absolute crap-shoot. After further discussion, we (more like I) decided to give this another couple weeks to see if the chemo will push the counts down some more. It is crazy to think that I am making many of the discussion for my care. It is kinda sad. I guess doctors have more then one patient, I just wish that there were answers and options that were viable. But I guess, I will do what I have done for 13 years now. Keep plugging away at this disease they call CANCER.
CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Today's Dr. Appointment
Today was a big day in determining if the chemo is working or not. Well, it is working but to what extent it not completely clear. My counts dropped from 3300 to 2800 (500 points). This is good but not great. However, it is better then staying the same or going up so in all these results are positive. I have not spoken with my doctor yet and I am not sure what he thinks about it but I would imagine I will continue to take the Nexavar for another couple weeks to a month to see if the counts continue to drop. But I must wait for the doctor to confirm this.
I am just relieved that the counts did not go up. The constant daily grind on your mind or wondering if this stuff is working can sometimes get to you, especially when you are not working. I have nothing else to fixate on.
Well look for an update tomorrow on what the big Doc said.
I am just relieved that the counts did not go up. The constant daily grind on your mind or wondering if this stuff is working can sometimes get to you, especially when you are not working. I have nothing else to fixate on.
Well look for an update tomorrow on what the big Doc said.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Life in the Fast Lane
As I sit home all day with little to do, I have some time to reflect on life maybe a little more then some of you. Although I am sure many of you are sitting in your office/cube day dreaming also. I was thinking about how quick our lives move. It seems like the KPB Classic was months ago. We have so many memories and things going on in our lives it is sometimes hard to really think about what matters in life.
What does? Right now for me it is my family and friends. You may ask shouldn't that always be what matters the most. Yes, but if you look back at high school and college you might remember that other things may have been a priority like sports, members of the opposite sex, etc. I love my family and they provide me with the joy and companionship that I need to get by on a day to day basis. When I wake up in the morning, I feel good when I look over and see my beautiful wife next to me and hear my son breathing over the baby monitor. I can not imagine not having that in a lifetime. Having the opportunity to shape and teach a little human is like no other opportunity you will get in your life. Any how quickly this happens. It seems like yesterday Alek was coming out of the womb and now he is turning into a little boy. So many parents say time goes so fast and indeed it does. It is really crazy.
My goal in this fast paced life where every one of us (friends and family) have so much going on is to find time to get together and enjoy this time together. For three years plus, Kath and I tried to get pregnant. Over that time we developed some special bonds with our friends and friend's kids. I want that same for Alek. I want my friends to be Alek's family. I want them to enjoy him as much as I enjoyed their kids. We all know if we don't time will have passed us by before we blink. I wish every month we could have a get together like the KPB Classic. Maybe we will have to organize a winter Bowling event or something like that. The KPB Bowling Classic. Sounds cool to me. I love bowling and I know many of you do too. Let me know what you guys think. It would be for fun and to get together.
That is my ramble for the day. Put a smile on your face!!!!
What does? Right now for me it is my family and friends. You may ask shouldn't that always be what matters the most. Yes, but if you look back at high school and college you might remember that other things may have been a priority like sports, members of the opposite sex, etc. I love my family and they provide me with the joy and companionship that I need to get by on a day to day basis. When I wake up in the morning, I feel good when I look over and see my beautiful wife next to me and hear my son breathing over the baby monitor. I can not imagine not having that in a lifetime. Having the opportunity to shape and teach a little human is like no other opportunity you will get in your life. Any how quickly this happens. It seems like yesterday Alek was coming out of the womb and now he is turning into a little boy. So many parents say time goes so fast and indeed it does. It is really crazy.
My goal in this fast paced life where every one of us (friends and family) have so much going on is to find time to get together and enjoy this time together. For three years plus, Kath and I tried to get pregnant. Over that time we developed some special bonds with our friends and friend's kids. I want that same for Alek. I want my friends to be Alek's family. I want them to enjoy him as much as I enjoyed their kids. We all know if we don't time will have passed us by before we blink. I wish every month we could have a get together like the KPB Classic. Maybe we will have to organize a winter Bowling event or something like that. The KPB Bowling Classic. Sounds cool to me. I love bowling and I know many of you do too. Let me know what you guys think. It would be for fun and to get together.
That is my ramble for the day. Put a smile on your face!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
